2009-09-22

Well Above Minimum Wage

Legend has it that Pablo Picasso was sketching in the park when a bold woman approached him.

“It’s you, Picasso, the great artist! Oh, you must sketch my portrait! I insist.”

So Picasso agreed to sketch her. After studying her for a moment, he used a single pencil stroke to create her portrait. He handed the women his work of art.

“It’s perfect!” she gushed. “You managed to capture my essence with one stroke, in one moment. Thank you! How much do I owe you?”

“Five thousand dollars,” the artist replied.

“B-b-but, what?” the woman sputtered. “How could you want so much money for this picture? It only took you a second to draw it!”

To which Picasso responded, “Madame, it took me my entire life.”

2009-09-17

"This is not a test."






Saddened that Henry Gibson has flown the earthly coop, I can think of now better way to celebrate his life than this.

Nebulitious



Eta Carina Nebula, a nebula that should sate the biggest astronomy connoisseur.

Go Go Gadget Video!



Inspector Gadget theme song being played on beer bottles. Very large, very brown beer bottles.


And by a cool, flutey guy.

2009-09-14

On Wisconsin - Headlines and Crap


For truly interesting Wisconin-ish information, go here.

To read my aimless babbling, see below.

There must be little question that it should be Odd Wisconsin.

Beyond the occasional froggy hitchhiker (watch out for their response to the excitement involved with going for a ride - much pee.)

Yes, it is true that a few serial killers, Liberace, Laura Ingells Wilder, Frank Lloyd Wright, Oscar Mayer, Orson Wells, Little Bastard, Georgia O'Keefe, and Les Paul are from here.

But it is the headlines we produce here that have drawn my need for entertainment.

Violent crime falls in Wisconsin as another headline declares and ammo shortage. Meanwhile, a drunken man takes a ride with a motorized wheelchair on the freeway.

And, oh, the places you may go while you're here!

Laws one should not break whilst here:

Connersville: No man shall fire a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm. Figurative speech? We can only guess.

It is illegal for a married man to drink beer, masturbate or in any way have any sort of enjoyment.

It is against the law to chop onions within 200 yards of a gay man.

It is illegal to eat a woman’s pubic hair in public.

It is illegal to kiss on a train.

It is illegal to serve apple pie in a public restaurant without cheese.

It is illegal to wave a burning torch around in the air. Very troubling law for angry mobs seeking monsters.

Racine: It's illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.

Time travel is against the law.

You are not allowed to call your wife 'love' or 'darling.'

Oh, and below are our sister cities. This is me skittering to a halt as my brain has a dip in neuron zappiness.

The Pac Man showdown.

The "I'm Sorry" Mullet

I really am.



Sorry, I mean.

2009-09-07

"I've Totally Posted This Mullet Before" Mullet

My Latest Tourettic Obsession

On a warm, sunny summerish day, I drove down the road giggling as my latest word bubble trouble *floated in the air around my annoyed sisters head.

This word was "salad."

A weird word, tonally. Rhymes with ballad but doesn't have the benefit of the soft "b." It starts out hissy and gets nasal fast.

"Salad. SAHHHlad. Salaaaaaad!"

Most of us envision a bowl or plate with lettuce and numerous vegetable, tomato or crouton accompaniments. But it can also be pasta or potatoes redolent with odd mayonnaise based dressings. Eggs chopped and whipped, covered with paprika spread on bread. Mixed fruits. And pre or post dinner courses containing greens only a chef or dedicated gardener would be familiar with.**

It seems to mean, essentially, many so-called edible things with sauce/dressing.

But where did this truly strange word come from?

Saying doesn't help, especially if you're American (more nasal power to Midwesterners.)

"Sah-layddddddddddd....." or (sal′əd)

My other obsession (yes, one of many) demanded that I know the etymology.

I was quite disappointed***.

The etymology is basically, from the French salade which is from the Latin salata which refers to vegetables seasoned with brine. Um, ick.

This kooky, fun multiple use word refers to a condiment/spice/former rumored currency and a definite source of war.

But someone has augmented my love of this word.


I have lifted his fantastic recipe for Tomato and Garlic Crouton Salad and you can peek if you promise to watch his show every time it's on. Even re-runs.

Ingredients
3 tablespoons olive oil, plus 1/4 cup
3 tablespoons butter
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 loaf ciabatta bread, cut into small cubes
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 pints red and yellow, grape and pear tomatoes, sliced in 1/2
1 cup halved, sliced kalamata olives
1/2 pound perlini mozzarella
8 basil leaves, chopped
Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a small skillet over medium-low heat, add 3 tablespoons olive oil, the butter, garlic, red pepper flakes, and salt and pepper, to taste. Cook to infuse the butter and oil with the garlic, about 4 minutes.

Add the cubed bread to a large bowl, pour the butter and garlic mixture over the bread and toss to coat. Transfer to a sheet tray and bake until crisp, about 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool.

In a small bowl whisk together the remaining olive oil and red wine vinegar and set aside.

In a large serving bowl, combine the tomatoes, olives, mozzarella, croutons, basil, and the oil and vinegar mixture. Gently toss to coat all the tomatoes and croutons. Let the salad sit for 10 minutes before serving.

Yum-freaking-tastic, people.










* any who know me know that I will utter a word and suddenly need to say it for about an hour to three hours in different intonations until some inner beast is satisfied.


***although I was pleased to discover the term Salad days meaning a "time of youthful inexperience" (on notion of "green") is first recorded by Shakespeare in 1606.

****yes, it is kinda from this.