Human Under Construction

2007-07-23

Fact or Fiction!

See if you can tell if the story mentioned is Ripped From the Headlines or a Plot from Scooby Do!

I scored a mere 60%.

I suck.

From Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh:

"Do we need ear plugs?"

- At the Royal Premiere of the James Bond film Die Another Day, on being told that Madonna sung the theme song.

"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing."

"Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps."

- Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, at Washington Embassy reception for Commonwealth members

"Brazilians live there"

- Prince Philip on the "key problem" facing Brazil

"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."

- When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances

"You look like you're ready for bed!"

- Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes

"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly."

- Commenting during the Jubilee tour

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"

- Said to a blind woman with a guide dog

Upon presenting a Duke of Edinburgh Award to a student, when informed that the young man was going to help out in Romania for six months, he asked if the student was going to help the Romanian orphans; upon being informed he was not, it was claimed the 85-year-old duke added: "Ah good, there's so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages."

"Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle." (2001)

- Talking to Elton John after he told Prince Philip that he had sold his gold Aston Martin

"In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"

- Said to a driving instructor in Scotland

Painting from the Saveloy Factory

Splish Splash, She was Takin' a Bath

The Leipzig Zoo in Germany has given their elephants an enclosure that let's them beat the heat.

It is designed to look more like a temple than a cage and includes a 135-square-metre swimming pool for the creatures.

Trinh, the smiling elephant to the left, swam in the 370,000 litre pool to avoid the 30C (86F) heat.

Visitors are able to watch through super-strength, glass panels as the animals swim under water.

The enclosure, named Ganesha Mandir by the zoo, also includes a huge shower area.

Tough Man Mullet

2007-07-20

Puppy Love

2007-07-19

Why a Duck?

"Loire Estuary 2007," is an amazing outdoor, contemporary-art exhibition that takes place in France.

30 artists from around the world installed their work along a 40-mile stretch at the mouth of the Loire River, from Saint-Nazaire to Nantes.

There is a river cruise that will take you down the river to see the whole, magnificent collection. It departs daily from Nantes or Saint-Nazaire.

Of note is Dutch artists Florentijn Hofman*'s massive (105-foot-tall, 85-foot-wide)“Canard de bain”.

On his website, the artists reflects on the reactions from the crowds: "A yellow spot on the horizon slowly approaches the coast. People have gathered and watch in amazement as a giant yellow Rubber Duck approaches. The spectators are greeted by the duck, which slowly nods its head. The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn't discriminate people and doesn't have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relief mondial tensions as well as define them. The rubber duck is soft, friendly and suitable for all ages!"

The exhibit takes place from 1st June to 1st September

Other participating artists include Anish Kapoor, Atelier Van Lieshout, Erwin Wurm, Martin Ruiz de Azúa, Minerva Cuevas, Los Carpinteros, Tadashi Kawamat, Kinya Maruyama, Tatzu Nishi, Felice Varini, Thomas Lanfranchi, Julius Popp, Jeppe Hein, Thomas McIntosh, Kevin Van Braak, Edwin Van Der Heide, Morgane Tschiember, Dré Wapenaar, Denis Oudendijk, Yan-Pei Ming, Honoré d’O, David Bartex, Daniel Buren - Patrick Bouchain, Concept Plastique, Jean-Luc Courcoult, Marie-Pierre Duquoc, Gilles Ebersolt, Franck Gérard, Fabrice Hyber, Ange Leccia, Bevis Martin - Charlie Youle, Alain Séchas, YKFD.

*his website is currently unavailable because he is too darned popular!

Silence

"If an ordinary person is silent, it may be a tactical manoeuvre. If a writer is silent, he is lying."

- Jaroslav Seifert
1984 Nobel Prize acceptance speech

“Every saint has a bee in his halo."

Sheila Sabatine of Bangor, Pennsylvania was preparing for a laid back day. She pulled an outdoor lounge chair into the shade of a tree and was puzzled when she heard an odd buzzing sound.

Much to her surprise and chagrin, about 10,000 bees had formed a football-sized hive under her seat of choice. They were none too pleased with the sudden relocation.

Sabatine managed to scamper into the house without getting stung.

Joe Kuka, a local beekeeper reported that swarming bees are generally not aggressive. Wisely Kuka added that if Mrs. Sabatine had plunked herself down in the chair, "she would have got up in a hurry."

2007-07-18

Waiting for that Special Day

2007-07-17

Impossible Product

A Cure for the Crabby Old Man

Much Listy Stuff

Music stars and their un-sexy real names:

David Bowie - David Robert Hayward Stenton Jones
Eric Clapton - Eric Patrick Clapp
Alice Cooper - Vincent Damon Furnier
Dido - Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong
Bob Dylan - Robert Alan Zimmerman
Jewel - Jewel Kilcher
Mama Cass - Ellen Naomi Cohen
Marilyn Manson - Brian Warner
Meat Loaf - Marvin Lee Aday
George Michael - Yorgos Panayiotou
Nelly - Carnell Haynes, Jr.
Lou Reed - Louis Firbank
Busta Rhymes - Trevor Tahiem Smith
Cliff Richard - Harry Webb
Sade - Helen Folasade Adu
Seal - Henry Olusegun Olumide Samuel
Gene Simmons - Chaim Witz
Cat Stevens - Steve Georgiou
Sly Stone - Sylvester Stewart
Ice T - Tracy Marrow
Randy Travis - Randy Bruce Traywick
Shania Twain - Eileen Regina Edwards
Frankie Valli - Frank Castelluccio
Eddie Vedder - Edward Louis Severson

Dog barks around the world:

English: woof, woof
Albanian: ham, ham
Arabic: haw, haw
Bulgarian: bau, bau
Danish: vov, vov
Estonian: auh, auh
Farsi: vogh, vogh
Finnish: hau, hau
French: ouaf, ouaf
German: wau, wau
Greek: gav, gav
Hindi: bho, bho
Icelandic: voff, voff
Italian: bau, bau
Japanese: wan, wan
Korean: mung, mung
Latvian: vau, vau
Mandarin Chinese: wang, wang
Norwegian: voff, voff
Polish: hau, hau
Romanian: ham, ham
Russian: gav, gav
Spanish: guau, guau
Swedish: voff, voff
Thai: hoang, hoang

Celebrity cat names:

Hodge: Samuel Johnson, British writer and lexicographer
Selima: Horace Walpole, British writer and historian
Langbourne: Jeremy Bentham, British writer, reformer, and philosopher
Old Foss: Edward Lear, British poet and humorist
Siam: Rutherford B. Hayes, American president
Appolinaris, Beelzebub, Blatherskaite, Buffalo Bill: Mark Twain, American author
Bismarck: Florence Nightingale, British nurse
Cobby: Thomas Hardy, British writer
Chess, Checkmate: Alexander Alekhine, Russian-French chess player
Taki: Raymond Chandler, American novelist
Jellylorum, George Pushdragon: T.S. Eliot, American-born British critic and writer
Blackie, Jock, Nelson, Tango: Winston Churchill, British politician and writer
Beppo: Jorge Luis Borges, Argentinian writer
Gujarat: John Kenneth Galbraith, Canadian-born American economist, writer, and diplomat
Fuckchop: Trent Reznor, leader, Nine Inch Nails

Latin proverbs:

Audi alteram partem - "Hear the other side."
Credo quia absurdum - "I believe it because it is absurd."
Errare humanum est; perseverare diabolicum - "To err is human; to repeat error is of the devil."
Ex nihilo nihil fit - "Nothing comes from nothing."
Festina lente - "Make haste slowly."
Gutta cavat lapidem - "Constant dropping wears the stone."
Mundus vult decipi - "The world wants to be deceived."
Natura non contristur - "Nature isn't sentimental."
Quem di diligunt, adulescens moritur - "Whom the gods love dies young."
Video meliora proboque deteriora sequor - "I see the better way and approve it, but I follow the worse way."

The motto of the Addams Family is Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc — "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us."

Gassy

2007-07-16

Pro-U.S.A. Mullet

2007-07-15

Listen Like Thebes

These are the Colossi of Memnon(erroneously identified by Greek travelers in antiquity) in Egypt; the only remnants of a temple commemorating Amenhotep III.

The Greeks named them after Memnon, the legendary hero killed at the Trojan Wars, who each morning called his mother Eos, the Dawn goddess.

After an earthquake, the statue to the right began to "sing" every morning at dawn, producing a light moaning sound most likely related to rising temperatures and evaporating dew. In "The Sphinx," Oscar Wilde wrote:

"Still from his chair of porphyry gaunt Memnon strains his lidless eyes Across the empty land, and cries each yellow morning unto thee."

Hearing the song was thought to bring good luck and the colossi began to attract pilgrims from across the ancient world.The singing stopped in 199 when Emperor Septimius Severus 'fixed' the damaged statues.

On the 27th of June this year, a mummy found long ago in a tomb in Egypt (by Howard Carter) was positively identified by DNA from a tooth as that of Hatsheput, the strongest and most powerful female Pharaoh, ruling in 15th century B.C..

I became obsessed with Hatsheput because of a book a found on an airplane as a kid. I devoured CHILD OF THE MORNING countless times and read everything I could find on this early female hero. My eyes will be glued to the screen tonight as Discovery airs their special on The Secrets of the Lost Queen of Egypt. More here in a NY Times article you have to be registered to read.