2005-02-16

Loonatics?



Six descendents of the original Looney Tunes crew will gain superpowers in Loonatics, a new franchise property coming to Kids WB this fall, the network announced today. The series is one of three new and four returning series that Kids WB announced for its 2005-06 season.

Set in the year 2772, Loonatics will be an "over-the-top, high-octane action-comedy" featuring revised versions of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, the Road Runner, Lola Bunny, Tasmanian Devil and Wile E. Coyote. Using special abilities and an irreverent sense of humor, the six will battle the evils of Acmetropolis. The series will air on Saturdays at 9:00am (ET/PT).

This morning's print edition of The Wall Street Journal quotes Warner Bros. Animation president Sander Schwartz as saying that reaction in test groups to the series has been "phenomenal."


The Da Vinci Code Uncoded

From the Skeptical Enquirer, an intelligent rebuttal to the Dale Brown phenomenon.

Massimo Polidoro, an investigator of the paranormal, author, lecturer, and co-founder and head of CICAP, the Italian skeptics group, decided to find out.

"What if the Holy Grail, the San Greal, was not the legendary and elusive cup that held the blood of Christ dying on the cross but was itself a blood, or a bloodline, a “sang real,” a “royal blood?” The idea, suggested for the first time in Holy Blood and Holy Grail, a 1982 book by British journalists Henry Lincoln, Richard Leigh, and Michael Baigent, is at the core of Dan Brown’s bestseller The Da Vinci Code.

Lincoln and his colleagues suggested that the “royal blood” is that of Jesus Christ, who did not die on the cross but survived the ordeal, married Mary Magdalene, had a child, Sarah, and the bloodline secretly survived and continued for 400 years, up to the Merovingian dynasty of the Franks of dark-age Europe. Jesus died an old man in France, where he fled with his family to escape prosecution from Peter and the Apostoles, and was buried near a little town on the Pyrenees, Rennes-le-Château.

This amazing story was supposedly kept secret for two millennia by the Priory of Sion, a mysterious sect that is said to have also founded the Order of the Templars. Notwithstanding the secrecy, clues to this concealed story were scattered throughout the centuries by some initiates belonging to the Priory, such as Leonardo da Vinci, [1] Isaac Newton, Victor Hugo, and Claude Debussy. This is how Lincoln and friends have been able to reassemble the story, uncoding hidden names, enigmas, wordplays, and hints hidden in various paintings.

But is this all true?

In order to better understand the story, I visited the remote town of Rennes-le-Château (RLC) on the Pyrenees last July."

The write-up continues here.


And it's fully functional!



Tokyo Damage Report:
Japan is famous for all things small, plastic, shiny, and imitation. Miniature plastic food. Miniature plastic robots. Miniature plastic human generative organs. So naturally I thought, "Why not combine them?"

Band to Band

My love for music and my inveterate geekiness sated by one website.

What is it about? Well, I'll tell you.

They call it Mapping the Rock 'n Roll genome:

Welcome to Band To Band.com

Bands have a tendency to share band members from time to time and as a result it is not difficult to construct a simple "family tree" based upon the interrelationship of band members. We at BandToBand.com decided to find out how large this extended tree is and the following list of bands is that result. Each band listed below is connected to every other band listed based upon this family tree principle.

The goal of this site is to have as many bands and band connections listed as possible. It isn't a source of discographies or music history as much as a documentation of connections. There are rules and the webmaster admits to being ferociously anal. I like that in a guy.

Have fun.

100 Funniest Jokes of All Time

Here's #11:

Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

Read the rest here.

Another one:

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why. (Redd Foxx)

And I couldn't resist this one:

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)

2005-02-15

In Case You Didn't Already Know...

Best in Show

The female faction of the Jordan clan have huddled around the TV for years watching the Westminster Dog Show.

I was very pleased with this year's Best in Show, Carlee, a German short haired pointer. I picked her from her first appearence. It was five year old Carlee's last show and it was good to see the small doggy yap factories lose to her glorious lines and silent dog dignity.

Her handler, Michelle Osdtermiller was a little surprised. "I am stunned," Ostermiller said. "This is just her personality. She's a sweetheart. She's our house pet. She has her couch and her toy box. She's very calm." And now, she will retire, as most Westminster champions do.

Taxing Drivers By Mile

The age of hybrid cars has brought a change in finance for states like California that have depended on gas tax for road repairs. With the amount spent by owners of hybrids down hundreds of dollars a month, local governments are hungry for money.

The answer?

At the pump, a computer will be installed that will communicate with each car's odometer and the owner will be charged tax according to road usage. Those driving during rush hours will be taxed more.

Those forced to pay more because of commute are more than a little angry.

Durex Annual Sex Survey


  • Globally, people are having sex an average of 103 times a year with women (106) having sex more frequently than men (101)

  • 35-44 year olds are having the most sex (116) compared to just 91 times for the 16-20 age group

  • The French (137), Greeks (133) Hungarians and Serbian and Montenegrins (both 131) are having the most sex, while those in Japan (46), Hong Kong and Singapore (both 79) are the least sexually active
To be a young Japanese man is to be a lonely Japanese man.



  • While more than a third (35%) have an orgasm every time they have sex, men are far more likely to do so than women - 45% compared to 17%

  • More experienced lovers are most likely to have an orgasm every time they have sex with almost half of those in the 35-plus age group (48%) claiming to do so, compared to less than a third (32%) of 16-20 year olds

  • Italians are the most likely to reach a climax on every occasion (61%), followed by those in Serbia and Montenegro (56%) and Macedonians (54%)

  • More than one in 10 Chinese (11%) have never had an orgasm, followed by the Finns (10%), Indians and Swedes (both 8%)

  • A quarter of people have faked an orgasm in the past 12 months - although there is a major difference between the sexes with almost four in 10 women (39%) faking it compared to 17% of men

  • The Macedonians and Serbian Montenegrins are the most sexually satisfied with 82% not needing to fake an orgasm, followed by the Croatians, Hungarians and Italians (75%)
Something I just don't get: faking an orgasm. What is the point? If your partner isn't doing the trick, takeover.



  • On average, people across the world spend 19.7 minutes on foreplay with men claiming to spend more time than women - 20.2 and 18.8 respectively

  • The younger age groups take the longest - 21.6 minutes for 16-20 year olds and 19.1 for 21-24 year olds compared to 17.3 minutes for the over 55's

  • The British spend the most time on foreplay (22.5 minutes), followed closely by the Germans (22.2), the Irish (21.8) and the Spanish (21.7)

  • The Thais spend the least amount of time (11.5 minutes) followed by those in Hong Kong (14.2) and the Vietnamese (15.2)
I'm left wondering about the quality of foreplay one receives when one's partner is timing the experience.

False Phallis-Sizing

A New Jersey man, name not disclosed for some reason, has filed a false advertising lawsuit against a maker of herbal penis enlargement pills, alleging the medicine does not fulfill its promises.

Two similar cases, filed last year in Colorado and Ohio, accuse manufacturers of herbal dietary supplements, VigRx and Enzyte, of falsely claiming to be able to add substantial length and girth to a man's penis.

Yes, strangely pills that claim to make boobs and penises bigger/bellies and thighs smaller don't work. I wouldn't want my name out there either. Can you imagine the neighbors?

"So, Bob, I hear those Penis Edifyer pills didn't work! Ya try prayin?"

Hem and Haw over Hemingway House

Four couples want to buy the 13-acre land on which Ernest Hemingway’s former house in Ketchum, Idaho resides.

They don’t like plans to turn it into a literary memorial. Fearing unwanted traffic, they want to buy out the owner, The Nature Convervancy.


Others claim there wouldn’t be that many tourists to begin with and moving the house where the author killed himself would be a serious challenge.

Windows XP

Sucks. I've been happily working on Windows 98 for years, escaping most viruses and the like. The new computer forced a change - a change I dislike intensely. I believe that's usually called hate.

XP is the slowest, most incompatible, moody, operating system on the planet. Ever.

It's effect on my browser is noted and despised.

I am now assembling a Bill Gates voo-doo doll and will insert a pin for any that ask.



By the makers of Gayopoly.

2005-02-14

Blah.





St. Valentine isn't even a Saint anymore. Let's just call it: "Spend a lot of Money on your Girlfriend/Wife because She'll Get Angry if You Don't Day".

Crazy Mullet


When Icehouse was an Australian band, not a beer

2005-02-13

Shoulda Never Gotten Married

Link!

Snow Man

In Glen Aubrey, New York, drivers were a bit distracted this last week as they drove down a rural road just north of Binghamton. Why?

A six foot tall snow sculpture of male genitals.

Beyond being wildly out of proportion, the sculpture was deemed everything from chuckle inducing to offensive. And, because this is America, the sculpture was soon visited by a deputy.

The mother of the team of brothers that created this icy homage to masculinity said that she would have her sons take care of dis-erecting it.

2005-02-12

How to escape from the date from hell

If you have Virgin Mobile, all you have to do is dial three numbers and then hang up.

"Virgin Mobile will call back a minute later with a perfect excuse to get out of there. We'll even talk you through what to say," the company, a joint venture of the Virgin Group and Optus, said in a statement.

A survey of 402 people by Virgin Mobile found that 53 percent arrange in advance to have a friend call them mid-date to check they are all right or if they need an excuse to get out.

The results showed women were twice as likely as men to use the tactic.

Imps: A Visual History

And not just any imps! These are whispering imps. Take a look!



"I do not pretend to be a scholar on the subject of magic posters. I simply have been intrigued by the proliferation of the whispering imp images and have attempted to locate as many as I could."

And he did a damn fine job.

A letter from Margaret Atwood

Margaret Atwood answers questions about her Unotchit remote book-signing device, starting with the rumor that it's nothing but a hoax.



My two favorite Q&A's:

2. Is signing a book for a reader the same as kissing? If so, don't the two people have to be in the same room? (A concern raised on a popular blog, by a cute-looking author.)

No, actually, book signing is not the same as kissing. In fact it's not remotely like it, though DNA and germs may be shared in both cases. Anyone who thinks these two things are the same is doing one of them improperly.

For such, professional help is available.

And you don't have to be in the same room with a person to have a meaningful exchange. Think of e-mail, and the telephone, and letter writing and other forms of communication.

7. Will getting my book signed by an author in the flesh make me pregnant?

We aren't sure. Ask Neil Gaiman. But we can guarantee that the remote signing device will not have this effect. It's safe! If there are other pertinent questions that haunt your nightmares, the friendly gnomes at Unotchit are willing to answer them. As long as they aren't about kissing.

This weekend

Remember that part in This is Spinal Tap where Harry Shearer's David Smalls character gets trapped in the cocoon onstage, not popping out til the song is over?

That's my weekend so far.

I hope I don't spend the rest of it looking for the stage.

2005-02-10

That's Yours

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship turned her down for a last romp. Grabbing him with her bare hands, she tore off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth! A friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."

She was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday after pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

I should thank my sister, Dianne, for this story but I can't bring myself to do that.