2006-07-16
2006-07-14
Maybe Some Reservations....
Anthony Bourdain, a favorite author of mine and one of the few reasons I watch television ever, is trapped in Lebanon as the fighting between Hezbollah and Israel erupts on July 12, he posts on the eG Forums:"In other news, we are currently shooting an episode of NR in Lebanon--and it should be video gold. Those kookie-krazy kids from Hezbollah were popping off their weapons today(shooting in the air, I gather)--and Israel has been bombing and mobilizing a division in the South with reported land and sea strikes... (See today's news--and quotes from Israeli PM). While the party continues in Beirut--there's a lot of concern that the Israelis will follow up with strikes on infrastructure (like the power grid). And we were due to head to the Bekka Valley tomorrow.
BTW..this town is Party Central!"
"The Israelis just bombed the airport...so it look like we won't be going anywhere soon..."
"Thanks for the good wishes..Way it's looking now--there ain't gonna be a show."
And from the New York Post today:
"Our network, our friends and our families just want us out of here as soon as possible," Bourdain told Page Six yesterday afternoon, as Israeli shells exploded in the distance. "We're not getting a show out of this . . . I just wanna hang out and drink at the bar. The mojitos here are great.
"They're bombing right now in southern Beirut. I can hear the explosions. The thing is, the people here are really, really nice and totally embarrassed by Hezbollah and horrified by the bombings."
After spending Monday and Tuesday eating his way through Beirut and befriending locals, Bourdain and his crew partied at local nightclubs into the wee hours. "This is a party town," he explained. "Everyone in this city is [bleeping] gorgeous. It's like L.A. It's a totally international, sophisticated city. Everyone speaks English and throws dollars around."
2006-07-13
2006-07-12
2006-07-11
There's No Business Like Dog Business!
This article must be read for the just for the fact that it means there is some person out there that loves pointless alliteration as much as I do.
Joy!
Joy!
It's the Peanutiest!!!
A mom's job is not easy. Give them a slight suggestion, such as, "Why don't you go play with the peanut butter," and all hell breaks loose.
My Jaw Dropped
The White House issued a memo that "instructs recipients to ensure that all Defense Department policies, practices and directives comply with Article 3 of the Geneva Conventions governing the humane treatment of prisoners."
It has been clearly stated that this is not a "reversal of policy." That would mean they made a mistake and are correcting it. Can't have that. No, they just want to, "get it right" and the situation is, "complex."
I am more confused than ever and my jaw is now firmly back in place.
It has been clearly stated that this is not a "reversal of policy." That would mean they made a mistake and are correcting it. Can't have that. No, they just want to, "get it right" and the situation is, "complex."
I am more confused than ever and my jaw is now firmly back in place.
"In the end, I'm too hedonistic. I enjoy pleasures."
Elizabeth Taylor says, 'I enjoy food too much.'
Ya think?*
This is hard hitting news?
This is worthy of a redundent headline?
How long have we known this?
Since Belushi at least....
Ya think?*This is hard hitting news?
This is worthy of a redundent headline?
How long have we known this?
Since Belushi at least....
*Use of this photo in no way endorses what is essentially a pretty boring book. Really. Printed Nytol.
2006-07-10
You Put the Peas on the Coconut
Adam Shaw was having what he thought was a damned good night. His wife Niki was feeling amorous and all was right with the world.
Then it happened.
Adam fell out of bed, screaming in agony, as his penis began to swell to the size of a cucumber. But worse, infinitely worse, his testicles grew to the size of a coconut.
The wise and resourceful Niki grabbed a bag of frozen peas and placed them lovingly on her husbands groin.
Yet he continued to groan. In a bad way.
After having a good look at him, doctors gave him the bad news:
"It's broken."
The horror!
"I never knew you could break it - but I found out the hard way. It was agony," said a relieved Adam after penis saving surgery.
"He'll just have to be a little less energetic in future," said a resilient Niki.
And, get it whilst it's snappy fresh - the Gherkin penis! The Q&A on this item listed was most enlightening.
Q: How will you be packaging it to deliver it? I expect it may get damaged if you let it slop around in its own juices bashing against the sides.
A: The gherkin will be packed in amongst a cluster of pimento stuffed olives to prevent excessive movement in its own juices*. The olives will provide snug and secure support for the gherkin.
Q: Is it organic? I never put a vegetable inside myself unless it is completely natural.
A: The gherkin is not organic.**
Q: Hello. Has the gherkin been used for anything?
A: It has been used as a featured item in the eagerly awaited forthcoming book- Delia's Daring Dinners - amusing food of Norwich. Aside from that, the Gherkin is as new and will be delivered in it's original vinegar. I hope that this helps, if you have any more questions please feel free to ask.
Q: Hi, can you tell me the length and girth of the gherkin in mm please?
A: I understand your curiosity on this matter but please remember that the size of the item is not the best indication of its value.
*Hee!
**This confused me. The pickle is not organic? Then what in holy condiment hell is it? Dark matter?
Then it happened.
Adam fell out of bed, screaming in agony, as his penis began to swell to the size of a cucumber. But worse, infinitely worse, his testicles grew to the size of a coconut.
The wise and resourceful Niki grabbed a bag of frozen peas and placed them lovingly on her husbands groin.
Yet he continued to groan. In a bad way.
After having a good look at him, doctors gave him the bad news:
"It's broken."
The horror!
"I never knew you could break it - but I found out the hard way. It was agony," said a relieved Adam after penis saving surgery.
"He'll just have to be a little less energetic in future," said a resilient Niki.
And, get it whilst it's snappy fresh - the Gherkin penis! The Q&A on this item listed was most enlightening.
Q: How will you be packaging it to deliver it? I expect it may get damaged if you let it slop around in its own juices bashing against the sides.
A: The gherkin will be packed in amongst a cluster of pimento stuffed olives to prevent excessive movement in its own juices*. The olives will provide snug and secure support for the gherkin.
Q: Is it organic? I never put a vegetable inside myself unless it is completely natural.
A: The gherkin is not organic.**
Q: Hello. Has the gherkin been used for anything?
A: It has been used as a featured item in the eagerly awaited forthcoming book- Delia's Daring Dinners - amusing food of Norwich. Aside from that, the Gherkin is as new and will be delivered in it's original vinegar. I hope that this helps, if you have any more questions please feel free to ask.
Q: Hi, can you tell me the length and girth of the gherkin in mm please?
A: I understand your curiosity on this matter but please remember that the size of the item is not the best indication of its value.
*Hee!
**This confused me. The pickle is not organic? Then what in holy condiment hell is it? Dark matter?
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