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The State of the Union...

The Drinking Game.

Monday Mood

Woke up this morning with Elmer Fudd singing David Bowie's "Let's Dance" in my head. Elmer was doing a little dance, sending out a come hither little stare from his bulbous cartoon head, his hunters hat at a rakish angle.

Know that a whole days mood can often be dictated to what I wake up with in my head, I knew that on some level I was fucked. Typing this now, hours later, the mood is not eradicated. The mood of chaos, heated creativity and the bizarrely comical mashed up together into a steaming mass of dream.

Could this be an omen?

A warning?

A sign that my brain really does need a masseuse?

The whole week is packed, with signings, writings, conventionings and drivings, so the chaos theme runs true. But there is an odd Fuddy/Bowie thread running through it all that disturbs me no end.

Mullet Monster from Hell


To Dream the Improbable Dream

"It's not often you have a dream when you're 7 lying in your bed, you get to live your dream out and then someone is going to erect a life-size statue of your creation."

No. No, that doesn't happen too damned often at all.

The dream was that of having the Fonz, a fictional Milwaukee icon, bronzed in statue form, grace downtown Milwaukee by the slimy, brown Milwaukee river, for all to see.

Most, especially those that had raised the money, were happy to hear of this Happy Days character coming to stay. But others were more like the evil Mallachi Brothers, who seemed determined to make the Fonz look a fool.

The statue a "publicity stunt" that perpetuates lowbrow stereotypes about Wisconsin, says Mike Brenner, founder of the Hotcakes Gallery.

"Can we just try to move forward, a little bit?" he said.

Move forward from a childhood in which I received a "Fonzie's Favorites" record for Christmas? An album cover that had a built in stand (not below, left) so that one could set set it up to look upon the visage of the Fonz when ever one chose?

I was rather horrified.

I played the record once to confirm to myself that it was, indeed, very bad. Fonzie's Favorites were not my favorites.

At least I didn't get the Happy Days game. Or any of the other gazillion bits of memorabilia available.

But I am damned amused by the statue.

Kids with Guns

The story of a gun buy back program in an elementary school.



Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution

Below is a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr's last sermon, written the day he was shot:

"There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right. I believe today that there is a need for all people of goodwill to come with a massive act of conscience and say in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "We ain’t goin’ study war no more." This is the challenge facing modern man."

In tears after watching an hour long show dedicated to him, I realized he was my age when he died. This one man that did so much to change this country and this world. This man who, after his death, still had stringent opponents to what he accomplished. He'd already received a Nobel Peace prize at the age of 35. What were you doing at that age?

This piece in the Washington Post tells us how close this nation was to not honoring this man with a day out of the year (that puffed up lover of mankind, Jesse Helms had a showdown with Ted Kennedy on the floor of the Senate).

There are many places online to access speeches, writings and photos. Here is a small list:

MLK Online
The Martin Luther Ling, Jr Research and Education Institute
Build the Dream - Home of an effort to have a memorial built

Gloomy Monday

According to some whiz bang formula, it has been determined that today, Monday 21, is the saddest day of the year.

Know that on this bleak day, you have much to be grateful for - you didn't wake up in a coffin at your own funeral.

This is not your mode of transportation.

You are not related to, um, Fartman.

You're not stuck.

You don't live here.

I'm Afraid of the Mullet


I Swam Through a Vorticed Ring of Air

From Earthtrust comes a group of dolphins that have learned (and then taught others) how to blow rings in the water by injecting air into water vortices. Beautiful....

IN ADDITION: Sometimes humans can actually come to the aid of our finned friends.


Snugger Than a Bug in a Rug

Can't help but think there are more photos of animals stuffed into knit wear.


Louis in Love

Louis the octopus is enamored.

He's in love and he will let know separate him from the the object of his affection: Mr Potato Head.

The giant Pacific octopus' standing on the Nice List inspired Santa to leave the toy for him under his coral Christmas tree. And Louis has learned to retrieve food hidden in a secret box at the back of it because he is just that damn smart a cephalopod.

He loves his Mr Potato Head so very much that he fights off any aquarium staff that try to take his beloved spud from him and plays with it for hours at a time.


Spit Bubble

Do you want me to look for more? I will, if you ask nicely....

For dear James:

Are We Screwed Already?

Kucinich Asks for New Hampshire Recount in the Interest of Election Integrity. A little earlier in the election cycle this time around, many people are worried about serious discrepancies between pre-election opinion polling and exit polls, which both had Obama winning by a substantial percentage, and the official results. Obama also appears to have won in hand-counted precincts while Clinton seems to have dominated in precincts which counted the votes with the Diebold Accuvote TSx optical-scan machines, which have been shown to be susceptible to a memory card hack. - from metafilter

Endless Loop


A Triple Threat Signing

Marcus Sakey (AT THE CITIES EDGE), Sean Chercover (BIG CITY, BAD BLOOD) and I (EXPLETIVE DELETED) will be at the Mystery One Bookstore in Milwaukee, WI on January 29th, 7pm, signing books 'til our hands bleed.

We may read to you.

We may sing to you.

We may dance with you.

You have but to ask.

The three of us, should we survive this appearance, will then head to Love is Murder just outside of Chicago, an outstanding conference for readers, writers and publishers alike. I will be on three panels and promise to imbibe far too much Diet Rockstar Energy Drink before all of them.

Short Shorts

Can you believe it's been twenty years since "Sweatin' with the Oldies?" Let's all hide behind a tree, scream and kick about it!


Sharing a Giggle

(WARNING: Dork Alert Code Red)

Two things that made me laugh, hit my head on the desk and immediately make them available to you...

Conan O'Brien singing the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" as Edith Bunker

and, this:


Deal of the Century!

If you send me a photo of you holding your copy of EXPLETIVE DELETED and I put it up on the blog, you will get two issues of Crimespree Magazine (either added to a subscription or on their own).

It may sound to good too be true but it's for real....

Email me at jen4 @ crimespreemag.com