I don't know what kind of value you place on your own... parts, but I wouldn't cut off my hair for that amount. Perhaps he'd run up a horrendous bar tab. Coldn't his "friend" have helped with that?
Well, he did it and the amount of blood led him to think a few stitches may be inorder.
Luckily, quick thinking and not easily grossed out patrons got the mans penis on ice and sent it with him to the hospital, in a bag.
Latvian doctors attempted the first penis reattachment in that countries history, which speaks rather well of Latvia, doesn't it?
"We have had a few cases with penis traumas, when it was half-cut or damaged, but this is the first time that it was totally cut off - and brought to hospital in a plastic bag," said microsurgeon Aivars Tihonovs from Gailezers hospital in the Latvian capital, Riga.
Surgery lasted three and a half hours as doctors sewed six nerves and a few veins back together.
"The first operation of this kind in the world was carried out in 1977, and it is still very rare," Tihonovs said also stating that he was "really angry that he (the patient) did it to himself".
It take four or five days to assess if the operation was successful. It will take about half a year to be sure the man's penis is functioning properly.
The money he won?
It went to the deductible.
Now, this next story had me in a nose snort fit that terrified the neighbors and attracted strange birds to the window.
An somewhat anonymous man from Merseyside, England had a problem.
A big problem.
A problem that most men would hesitate to bring up to their wives and doctors, let alone the entire world. But, when you've got no where left to turn, why not call in to a nationally syndicated BBC radio talk show?
CALLER: I had a problem with impotence and I had an operation in Turkey and got an implant which would help.
HOST: I know the sort of thing.
CALLER: But what is happening now is every time my neighbour comes back in their 4 x 4, I get an erection.
HOST: Good Lord.
CALLER: This is embarrassing. It's a big problem.
HOST: Have you been to see your doctor about it?
CALLER: The problem is I had this done in Turkey, using equipment that is not known in this country. I don't like it because every time his car pulls in, I can't leave the house.
HOST: (Laughing) I'm afraid that it sounds funny as well. I know it's not funny for you.
CALLER: It's not funny for me, Roger, when I can't leave the house because I'm walking around with a big erection.
HOST: You're going to have to go and see a doctor.
One hesitates, unless one is me, to think what this poor man's primary care physician will say when asked to help with his "Turkish garage door remote spontaneous priapism syndrome."
That concludes this evenings edition of Penis Stories.
Be good to each other.
4 comments:
The Latvian guy had a MICROsurgeon reattach his thingy? That's got to be a little embarrassing, no?
Better than an ORAL surgeon, dontcha think?
Or Colo-rectal?
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