I Had a Dream

In it, I wandered about at some New York party, bored with people that seemed overly concerned with appearances and saying clever things and finding the right light to stand under to accent their profiles.

Among the colorful people present was Madonna. She was being catered to by all the horrifically cool people there and, as a sign of her approval, she would take one of her talon-like nails and run it down people's backs, leaving an ugly red welt.

She looked over at me and poised the nail for scratching.

I told her, "If you even touch me with that nail, I'll punch you."

She withdrew with a shrug and I determined it was time to get the hell out of there.

When I awoke, it seemed that on some level, I had embraced my dorkiness once and for all.