Hulk Clumsy Bastard!!!!

Fake Plastic People

Nestled in a ground-tied cloud is my snow laden house. Squirrels and deer and birds have looked in the window at me, plaintively. The feeders have gone empty. But I sit in front of the computer, jaw slack.

The cat has nudged my ankles and looked at me adoringly, yet still my eyes are glued to the screen.

I hear tell of a coup and shootings and more economic woe but I am briefly sheltered by unreality.

My brother has gotten me Sims 2 for my MacBook and damned if those stiff limbed faux people aren't fun to wreck havoc with.

I Miss You, Silly!

From the fabulous First Aid Kit

Lifted lovingly from Nag on the Lake.

The Office is not Open

Put Your Lips Together and Blow

Bonnie, a 30-year-old female orangutan at the Smithsonian National Zoo, surprised her caretakers in the 1980's with a pretty neat trick.  By watching people, she figured out how to whistle. This is the first documented case of a primate spontaneously mimicking the sounds of another species.

Full article here.

Um, so can Ujan.

Peace in Detroit

At least in the form of a baby aardvark named Amani (Swahili for peace.)



Amani will be seen with parents Rachaael and Mchimbaji in the spring of 2009 with the Zoo’s other aardvarks, Amy Bob and Lily.

"This could be your head!"

Or you could just get one of these. Or just follow these instructions.

Can You Love Handle It?

Beverly Hills doctor and green multi-tasker Craig Alan Bittner is saving the planet one liposuction at a time.

He has converted fat removed from patients into biodiesel fuel for his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator.

And, as you would expect, there is more to the story than fuels the car.

A Classic Mullet

Ripped From Holiday Headlines

Inmate uses string of Christmas lights to escape jail.

A Nervous Bride

We'll we're definitely using one pot today!"

Rufus Wainwright and his mom, Kate McGarrigle stop by Martha Stewart to make ginger cookies (in the case of dear Rufus, rather badly) and to entice people to their Christmas show at Carnegie Hall. The show proceeds go to a charity Kate M started that aids in cancer care and research.

The video is rather damned funny for those who enjoy watching others struggle in the kitchen.

Too Full

I am not available

At the moment

Except to myself.

Downstairs the plumber

Is emptying the big tank,

Water-logged.

The pump pumped on and on

And might have worn out.

So many lives pour into this house,

Sometimes I get too full;

The pump wears out.

So now I am emptying the tank.

It is not an illness

That keeps me from writing.

I am simply staying alive

As one does

At times by taking in,

At times by shutting out.

- May Sarton

A Winter Notebook

image source

Lunch

The Specialists

Living amidst a very particular gorgonian, these pygmy sea horses were noted only after the see ferns were collected and observed.

From the Conservation Report.

S'mullet

"I want to be remembered as a woman who changed people's perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form"

The real thing, Bettie Page has died at 85.  She had had a heart attack on December 6th that had left her in  a coma.

Her issue of Playboy is the second most-requested issue in the magazine's history and Page got all of $20 for it. She had hoped to recoup some of the money made from her iconic image

The Brightest and the Bestest

That will be the full moon visible on this Friday night. La Luna will be 30% brighter and 14 % larger than our average full moon (it is at is closest perigee for this orbit). With a reflection off the snow covering most of my area, it will be bright enough for a moon tan.

After trudging through a parking lot covered in grayish-tan cold muck, the moon rising in pink sky tonight lifted my spirits. I will being spying with my little eye tomorrow and may attempt a crap photo or two. 

What Fools These Mortals Be

Your New Overlord

A Lion Pride in Winter

“At the Justice Department.”

“Wanting it, wanting
with all my hunger this anguish,
this knowing in the body
the grim odds we’re
up against, wanting it real.
Up that bank where gas
curled in the ivy, dragging each other
up, strangers, brothers
and sisters. Nothing
will do but
to taste the bitter
taste. No life
other, apart from.”

—	Denise Levertov, “At the Justice Department.”

Radka Toneff - The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Not Fred's Bedrock

Rhythmic bedding in sedimentary bedrock within Becquerel crater on Mars.

A favorite site, NASA and their current images.

Extra: Greedy Ass Report

It bonus time in corporate American and we are about to see where that bail out is going to take us.

The first ass I've bothered to report on: John Thain of Merrill Lynch. His company was on the conveyor belt heading for bankruptcy right after Lehman Brothers. But John has asked his beleaguered company for a $10,000,000 dollar bonus. Because he's just that damn cool (insiders say he felt that without his guidance the company "could have done worse."

More surely to be added to this last in the weeks to come. As I bother to report them.

Feel the Beat of the Rhythm of my Mullet

Conway vs. Wheelchair

And here is a link to many, many, many other out takes from this brilliant show.

Enjoy!

A Stone Flower

Or 300 million-year-old chert nodules. How ever you want to look at it.

Flappy-Pants Pappy!

Walking on Water

"They are very demanding."

Saved after being abandoned by their mother's after heavy storms, 300 flying fox babies are wrapped and pampered in order to save them for a future colony. The cuteness quotient is quite high.

Because I Am.....

The SoftLightes - The Microwave Song

Some Freeness in These Trying Times

Over 100 different mystery titles 

FREE

Just pay shipping and handling.

May I recommend:

 

You Know You Want To

A Head

My Expression Upon Waking This Morning

Cooking WTF

You Wanted the Best Mullet, I Found This Guy

Uh, sorry.

Bettie Page Passing on the Wisdom

Now You Can Eclipse It

Morans

Quintessentially Mullet

Shnizzle my Potato

And then Snoop makes some mashed potatoes....

Lunch?

Loving a Stranger

I've no idea who this man is but I rather adore him.

I'm all Lost in the Supermarket

I can no longer shop happily...

Shirtmaker to the Stars

Me, Today

Best hope that you're not the branch I am leaping to.

The Happy Loris

Oh, Jen has a theme song!

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things tend to get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

I am a feeler!

The Typealyzer. 

Insert your blogs url and you, too, can analyze yourself in yet another new and refreshing way. I was excited, stumbling upon after viewing the Presurfer. Couldn't wait to insert my url in the spot logically provided by the Typealyzers. My result is below and no surprise.

The analysis indicates that the author of humanunderconstruction is of the type:

ISFP - The Artists

The gentle and compassionate type. They are especially attuned their inner values and what other people need. They are not friends of many words and tend to take the worries of the world on their shoulders. They tend to follow the path of least resistance and have to look out not to be taken advantage of. 

They often prefer working quietly, behind the scene as a part of a team. They tend to value their friends and family above what they do for a living.

Years Later, She Memes in Return

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare - and I gloried in it, carnivore that I am
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush - the fragrances, the visual feast that is Indian food, makes Jen happy
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart - oh, the things we do in our youth
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes - an horrible it was
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes - I grow and eat them, take photos, collect trading cards
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche - heavenly
28. Oysters - oh, the greasy glory
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - at a Renn Faire in the Poconos with a mug full of mead as squirrels pelted me with chestnuts
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea -
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo - seafood gumbo in Baltimore was red and mean and wonderful
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu - scorethrough not opertational. Neither is my will to die stupidly
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine -
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores - would cook them over candles in our kitchen
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers - with very odd frequency
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake 

Worth It's Weight in Gold

The beauty, the wonder, the splendor of whale shark poo.

"It is as thick as your arm, gloopy and smells disgusting - and it has just been caught on camera for what is thought to be the first time."

From BBC's The Natural World 25th Anniversary Special

Monday Can Start the Week with a Dull Roar....

From Lasse Gjertsen, my Monday hero, found on Metafilter

The Secret of Happiness is...

BFF Mullets

Word for the Day: Afflatus

Afflatus (n)

An inspiration, a creative impulse

"She did not think herself a genius by any means; but when the writing fit came on, she gave herself up to it with entire abandon....The divine afflatus usually lasted a week or two, and then she emerged from her "vortex," hungry, sleepy, cross, or despondent."
--Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

See, the courting the muse is like making a souffle. Sometimes she rises to the occaisional and a magical feast is set for all. But sometimes she falls down on the job, leaves dirty dishes in the sink when it's her wash day you find yourself tripping over her shoes which are all over in the house in some kind of subconscious obstacle course from the depths of the Divine. Yes, she is a fierce roommate. 

No man was ever great without a touch of divine afflatus. ~ Cicero

“A phrase used to mean poetic inspiration, particularly the exalted state immediately preceding creative composition, when the poet is felt to be receiving his inspiration directly from a divine source. The doctrine of divine inspiration for poets was advocated by Plato. Although the phrase and doctrine have been used in a serious and sincere sense by such a poet as Shelley, the term is perhaps more often used now in a somewhat contemptuous sense, to imply a sort of pretensious over-valuation in a would-be poet or a bombastic spirit in an oratator, whose fervid style or manner is felt not to be justified by the actual substance of the poem or oration.” 

 - A Handbook To Literature by William Flint Thrall and Addison Hibbard.

Busy Body

Things your body can do after you are dead.

That is a crazy big picture for such a small post.

Okay, here is a link to photos of grains of sand!

Cool, yes?

Um....

I am making turkey and garbanzo bean soup right now... No idea how it will turn out except that it will be quite warm. And have things in it. Like garbanzo beans. And turkey.

Er, finally loading music on to the new lap top.

La.....

How long does soup need to cook?

That long?

Damn.

Update: it smells quite good in the house and the cats are in turkey comas all over the office.

Updated update: theme from Starsky and Hutch (the series) in my head for no reason I can fathom.

The Updatedest Update: the soup was delightful. Who knew turkey and garbanzo beans could get along so well.

He's Worse Than Dead!

His brain is gone!  (insert odd eyebrow emoting from Kirk here)

Adolfo Feragutti Visconti - Die persischen Magierinnen, 1904

A Nom After my own Heart