"Words, words, words"
From Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh:
"Do we need ear plugs?"
- At the Royal Premiere of the James Bond film Die Another Day, on being told that Madonna sung the theme song.
"I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing."
"Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps."
- Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, at Washington Embassy reception for Commonwealth members
"Brazilians live there"
- Prince Philip on the "key problem" facing Brazil
"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."
- When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances
"You look like you're ready for bed!"
- Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes
"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly."
- Commenting during the Jubilee tour
"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?"
- Said to a blind woman with a guide dog
Upon presenting a Duke of Edinburgh Award to a student, when informed that the young man was going to help out in Romania for six months, he asked if the student was going to help the Romanian orphans; upon being informed he was not, it was claimed the 85-year-old duke added: "Ah good, there's so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages."
"Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle." (2001)
- Talking to Elton John after he told Prince Philip that he had sold his gold Aston Martin
"In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
- Said to a driving instructor in Scotland
Painting from the Saveloy Factory