Frolic, squirrels, frolic.
One day, when Jack woke up, the sky was dark and there was an ominous scent of danger coming from his mailbox. Cautiously, Jack opened it. Inside he found an envelope.
The scent of danger was stronger.
Taking the envelope inside, Jack set it on the kitchen table and went into the other room. He came back
moments later wearing a gas mask, knee pads and a chest guard.Slowly, he inserted an opener to the envelope.
Out dropped some kind of papers with words on them.
The scent of danger was overwhelming even with the gas masks filter.
Jack moved the paper with his opener until he could read the words on the dull paper.
They were fines.
Fines totally almost $1400!
There were five of them that added up to this horrible amount.
Four were squirrel-related infractions: squirrel at large, squirrel on the beach, squirrel defecating or urinating on public or private property and squirrel disturbing the peace.
His friends were being punished for visiting his home!
He took a look at the last piece of paper.
It was for a barking dog violation.
"What?" Jack thought, "I don't even own a dog!"
"These charges are just plain nuts, " Jack concluded. He took off his gas mask, peeled of the chest protector but opted to retain the kneepads. He whipped out his mighty sword shaped pen and wrote to whom it was concerned.
"No one has a pet squirrel!" Jack wrote angrily. He knew squirrels belonged to themselves.
The city of Melbourne was forced to admit its mistake.
The evil had emanated from someone calling to complain about Jack feeding his friends, the squirrels, in his
backyard. An evil robot/automated computer program spewed out the response accused Jack of illegal behavior with the squirrels and dog that didn't exist.
Jack checked his mail in a few days.
No odor of danger. But there was an envelope.
Inside, an apology.
1 comment:
Thieving squirrel bastards. Deserve everything they get!
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