When attempting to perform daily rituals involved with sustaining life after a night of two hours sleep, it is important for the human to eat a solid breakfast. Whilst going down the hall to the kitchen, steer body away from walls and head straight for biggest/strongest caffeine source. Consume caffeine. Wait.
Body will now function. Brain will remain at half-speed. Caffeine, although powerful, is no miracle worker.
Cook using only toaster or microwave. Do not attempt stove or oven at this time. Fire may well result.
Fill large receptacle with more caffeine.
Go to computer. Shift into auto.
Important safely tip! When driving, stay in slow lane until body AND brain recognize terrain, direction and speed of one's own car vs. car of others. Do not attempt to change radio station or CD whilst moving. Drifting will result.
Upon arrival at destination, seek caffeine source. Repeat.
Verify that mouth is closed when not talking. Look away from strobing computer screen at regular intervals.
Kill Lizzie
No comments:
Post a Comment