Lynde Quips

Sad, but true, a lot of my early childhood memories are wrapped around TV.

I refused to go to CCD classes because I would miss re-runs of Batman. The four Jordan kids had to sneak peeks at Speedracer when my Mom left the room (I read Helter Skelter and The Godfather at eleven - but no Speedracer!) And Pro-Wrestling on Sundays, in black & white I might add, always a favorite, The Crusher! I dig up a photo of my sister and I glued to the screen later.

My Mom's taste was instilled in me as I watched Kojak, Barnaby Jones, Baretta, Emergency, Cannon (how in Hell did that fat man solve any crimes? Remember the chase scenes? Classic!), Police Woman, S.W.A.T., Adam-12, Hawaii Five-O (remember the one when bad guys gave McGarrett LSD?), Ironsides, Columbo, Streets of San Francisco (when I'd ask my Mom, 'What's wrong with that man's nose?'), The Rockford Files... not hard to figure where my taste in fiction came from.

But a strong non-cop show related memory is watching the Hollywood Squares as my Mom laughed uproariously to the snide nasal antics of Paul Lynde. This was my point all along. It just took me a long time to get here. I came across a site that has archived some of Lynde's snotty bits and finally get what my Mom thought was so damn funny.

Peter Marshall: Why do sheep sleep huddled up?
Paul Lynde: Because Little Boy Blue's a weirdo!

Peter Marshall: When Henry Kissinger recently visited Japan, he went to a Geisha House, now how did he spent his time in the Geisha House?
Paul Lynde: Oh, negotiating for "peace!"

Peter Marshall: In the Shakespearean play "King Lear," King Lear had three of them, Gonoreil, Cordelia and Regen. Who were they?
Paul Lynde (disgustedly): King Lear had Gonoreil!