2005-10-24

100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice!!!


A powerful bolt of energy delivered into your body that Steven Seagal precisely blended for lasting maximum performance. So get ready to take on the world with new meaning with Steven Segal’s own Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!

5 comments:

Stuart MacBride said...

What the hell is an 'Asian Experience Energy Drink'? Eh?

Fence said...

Am I the only one thinking "nasty nasty nasty nasty" at the idea of Seagal Juice?

John R. said...

It combines the infinite wisdom of Steven Seagal with...

Wait. "Infinite wisdom"?

And Stuart, it's called that to allow you to introduce yourself to ladies with the line, "Hey baby. How'd you like an Asian Experience?"

Jennifer Jordan said...

I enjoy that Lightning Bolt is touted as 'the one and only energy drink crafted by martial arts expert and herbal specialist Steven Seagal.'

Herbal specialist. There was a time I could have easily claimed that title.

And and and 'Lightning Bolt will give you the strength you need to punch your adversary’s faces through plate glass windows day in and day out!'

Infinite wisdom dictates that one smashes one's enemies!

After, at your trial, the judge dismissed the case after hearing the whole thing came about because of imbibing Seagal's powerful juice. He calls you into chambers.

"Where can I get me some of that Asian Experience?" he asks hopefully.

In your infinite wisdom, you tell him.

Jim Winter said...

What's that word I'm looking for? What is that word Steven Seagal always brings to mind? Wait a minute. It's coming to me. Yes, here it is, the only word I can think of to describe something called "Steven Seagal Juice":

Squick

Yeah. That's pretty much sums it up.