Music is like a Giant Tylenol

Have a headache? That trick knee bothering you?

Play that funky music, white boy.

After carry out test after test after test on people on pain, psychologists at Glasgow Caledonian University found that the poor bastards favorite music, ranging from punk, rock, classical and folk to Firestarter by The Prodigy, reduced anxiety levels and increased tolerance of discomfort. How?

It seems music has the ability to increase feelings of control and helps fight the pain barrier.

Reports Dr Raymond MacDonald, "We studied patients recovering from minor surgery in hospitals and we found that listening to your favorite music reduced anxiety levels. We then carried out a series of laboratory studies and asked people to keep their hand in very cold water for as long as they could. We played music in the background and found that you keep your hand in longer when you listen to it. It reduces pain and increases your feelings of control."

During the cold water experiment, which rather resembles the hilarious but cruel tricked played on passed out drunks, participants were given a choice of listening to music, doing mental arithmetic or watching Billy Connolly.


"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do." - B.C.

In each case, the person listening to music was able to tolerate the cold water the longest, sometimes up to five times as long. Researchers believe that this is because music, as well as providing a distraction, can engage you emotionally unlike other stimulants. No report was made on those that watched Connolly.

"The study showed that music appeared to be the most effective strategy in combining distraction and feeling of control. The music brought by the participants was varied and included punk, dance, rock, classical and folk. The most surprising choice was The Prodigy's Firestarter, not music you would immediately think of as relaxing, but the person who chose it put up with the pain five times as long while listening to it."

I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter
You're the firestarter, twisted firestarter
I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter

I'm the bitch you hated, filth infatuated - yeah
I'm the pain you tasted, well intoxicated

I feel better already!