2005-03-03

The Sounds of Writing

My parents theorized that babies that learned to sleep in the midst of chaos could sleep through anything. They would put us down for naps in the dining room, privy to all the noise suburbia had to provide. Which was a hell of a lot. Nothing like the modern leaf blowers and the guy across the street with the beagle named Olivergoddammit!, but there were wood chippers, doorbells, Jehovah's Witnesses and soap operas then.

Thusly, have I become a noise junky. I need noise to sleep, I need noise when I write and I'm often making noise when I wake up. I have loud dreams.

It is an annoying fact of my life that I need noise to write. About 93.5 % of the writers I know need silence; my best case scenario is background talking. The best atmosphere is a work environment in which, for whatever bizarre reason, I am left to my own devices as others go about the business. I've written scads at work.

To duplicate this at home, I end up with shopping and news channels. The shopping channels can be a bit problematic. Today, one female host described every freaking item she was selling, from jewelry to plants, as amazing. Not 'ah-mazing...', but 'amazing!' spoken quickly enough to startle guests and dumbfound call in viewers. A turn to the evil TV box shows a woman with brittle blonde hair, a blue jogging suit and coral lipstick - a makeover I'll be given if I end up in hell.

When the next 'guest' came on, he was selling hairspray. The point of this hairspray, applied with the model bent over and half a can evacuated in a scant 30 seconds, is to make one's hair HUGE! Walking through doorway sideways HUGE! Fuck the ozone, I want big hair HUGE!

I turned the channel.

The news is all depressing, all the time. Perfect for writing. As a bland man in a bland suit droned on, I got back to my writing with a vengeance, pausing only to mute commercials without even a glance. Did you know they expect oil to go up to $80 dollars a barrel in the next two years? It's a beautiful world.

2518 words of beautiful world.

2 comments:

Just Somebody said...

I used to be the same as a child - if my body wanted to sleep, it would - anywhere.

I actually awoke one Sunday morning to find my bedroom furniture had been rearanged by my parents around me - now thats a very unsettling first sight when you realise the room isn't the same when you wake up as when you left it the night before.

Jen Jordan said...

C - I did that to my sister. Her expression upon awaking to find her bed across the room was priceless.

Jenn - that is an excellent idea!