He done her ego wrong so she did him worse.
Ken Slaby, devastated when girlfriend of five years Gail O'Toole (you can't write better names then these, can you?) broke up with him, was elated when she said the could still be friends.
But O'Toole got more than a little upset to find that Slaby had moved on. Slaby, apparently still comfortable enough in her presence to fall asleep on his tummy, awoke to find his penis glued to his stomach, his testicles glued to his leg and the cheeks of his buttocks glued together. Then, in what was no doubt a fit of artistic pique, O'Toole dumped a bottle of nail polish over his head.
O'Toole kicked him out of the house and Slaby was forced to walk a mile down the road where he called the police.
How he phrased his predicament to them is unknown.
Once he reached the hospital, oils did little to remove the glue. Nurses had to peel everything off.
O'Toole's attorney, in a civil court case, said this was part of routine sexual activity between the couple -- acts that he agreed to -- incidents that should have stayed in the bedroom.
According to Slaby, O'Toole came up with a script and followed it to the letter because she was angry that he had moved on.
A jury will decide this week whether O'Toole adhered to the law or if this was just a tacky break-up.
In marginally related news, Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of a Boulder, Colorado Home Depot of ignoring his cries for help.
Dougherty had become stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue. He cried for help for 15 minutes and was ignored by employees convinced it was a hoax.
Dougherty claims he passed out after being peeled from the seat.
"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."