Like a Rolling Stone

Updated List of Things I Recommend Not Doing

1. Drinking a lot of hot sake, getting minimal sleep, then running through the airport to catch a plane. This is a perennial favorite thing not to do.

2. Eating dodgy sausage.

3. Passing a kidney stone. Ouch.

4. Trying to be of help to someone that asks, "Does this smell funny to you?"

5. Testing the temperature of an iron with one's finger.


Anonymous said...

I would like to add a few things to this list.

a) Throwing up out the window of speeding car. Especially if you are in front and the person in back has the window down.

b) Asking an author why their latest book just wasn't any good compared to everything else out this year. Authors crying is not pretty.

c) Wearing a nicotine patch, smoking lucky strikes while drinking Sumatra coffee and taking caffrine pills. People seem to stay far away, and your heart makes your chest move violently up and down,

d) taunting an NRA member while they are in the woods far away from othre people hunting is not too good an idea.......

and if you want to get lucky, don't sing songs by Huey Lewis and the news or light farts on fire. It's sems like a g ood idea, but it isn't really...

Jon, who has never done any of these things.... as far as you know....

Anonymous said...

Excellent. I will try my hardest not to do any of the items on the list.

Jen Jordan said...

Then add to the list getting stuck in an airport with one Jon Jordan during a airplane boo-boo induced layover and watch as Jon realizes he'll be denied a cigarette for an undetermined period.

That's scary!