2006-05-26

Hitting the News Button

Surely the most important thing I can tell you is that the asshat who predicted that the Atlantic coast would be beset with horrible storm and be destroyed yesterday amends the statement to say it can happen in a 48 hour window. If you see a comet falling from the sky, it's already too late.

Get this; Bush says he made a mistake! "I learned some lessons about expressing myself maybe in a little more sophisticated manner, you know. "Wanted, dead or alive"; that kind of talk. I think in certain parts of the world it was misinterpreted," he said. Hey, it's a start. Blair admits he fucked up, too. Together, the make a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

The Guardian has reported that more people voted for the American Idol than have voted in any presidential election, ever. Is anyone in marginally surprised by this?

The Rayburn building at the heart of the all those upset congress folks is in the center of another Washington D.C. event; shots have been fired and the building is closed. Note that there is a firing range in the basement of the building. Says a swifty at the scene:

"They want us to stay in our offices and I'm perfectly happy to do that but I don't feel endangered," said Gene Smith, chief of staff to Rep. Howard Berman, D-Calif. "They said they heard gunfire in the Rayburn garage but this is a huge building, I'm guessing it's a car backfiring or balloons popping."

This guy has led a sheltered life. Gunfire or balloons popping? Hmmmm.....

UPDATE: It was an air hammer. An air hammer. Not balloons.

David Lee Roth is again saying his return to Van Halen in "an inevitability."
"To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like what's-her-name says to what's-her-name at the end of the movie 'Chicago' -- 'So what? It's showbiz!' So I definitely see it happening." I reach for the term asshat once again. Or how about dumbass? The word ass has to be included somewhere.

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