2006-05-09

Isn't It Awfully Nice to have a Penis?

"It's one of the rare cases ... but they did it (the operation) last week and it went smoothly. The hospital has done this kind of operation before, but only after people had car accidents. You are dealing with an organ in a difficult area and you want to try to return to its efficiency," said a spokesman at Riyadh's Takhassusi Hospital.

Earlier this month newspapers in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia reported that a maid removed her employer's manhood with a knife in the conservatory when he tried to molest her in the middle of the night as his wife was sleeping.

The maid is now in police custody.

In further penis news, dad not moved by penis art. That is, to clarify, art done with a penis.

"My dad is not too impressed. He shook his head and said, `Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear'," Mr Patch said.

Mr Patch, a Gold Coast, Australia father of four, unveiled two portraits done using his penis as a brush.

The first painting was of Prime Minister John Howard and the other of Opposition Leader Kim Beazley.

He had been a portrait artist until recently. He revealed newfound talent at a party last New Year's Eve and it was decided he did better portraits with his penis that with his hands.

"Then I told a friend I could paint with my dick and she was really enthusiastic."

He sent paintings on to a few galleries. One accepted his art for an exhibition in Perth.

"Nobody really wanted to know until I sent them to Sexpo and they loved it."

Sexpo is expecting a record crowd of more than 35,000 in Perth, potentially stealing Brisbane's crown as "Australia's Sexiest City" by attracting more visitors on a per capita basis.

Mr Patch is still coming to terms with his celebrity.