"And How Will You Have Your Penis?"

In China, you are what you eat. And Chinese men prefer to eat penises. Now there's a restaurant, Guolizhuang, in Beijing's West Lake that serves every kind of penis you can imagine in - except in dishes that specialize in testicles.

"This is my third visit," said one customer, Liu Qiang. "Of course, there are other restaurants that serve the bian [penis] of individual animals. But this is the first that brings them all together."

From yaks to horses to donkeys to seals to goat to Russian dog.

A booking brings you a trained waitress and a nutritionist to explain the menu and its medicinal virtues.
Nutritionist Zhu Yan said that women may be short shafted in the restuarant. "I wouldn't recommend the testicles. The testosterone might interfere in fertility. But many women say bian is good for the skin."

For those that have never partaken in penis eating before, Ms Zhu recommends the hotpot. In it are a sampling of six types of penis and four of testicle. All are boiled in chicken stock, the great unifier.

Canadian seal penis costs a hefty $517 and requires ordering in advance because they have to go to Canada and beat the seals to death before they harvest the penis in question. So get those orders in now!