I like to listen to Sue Johanson talk sex on the Sunday Night Sex Show. I think the episode in which she was so involved with a conversation with a call in viewers question that she leaned on a large dildo as if it where a piece of furniture won me over. This isn't the jovial and viewer bashing Loveline. This is a registered nurse answering questions about everything sexual with no prejudice or shame. You can see the first season on Nocturnal Admissions and Penguin has published two other books.
Sue has been yapping about sex for thirty years and despite her grandmotherly appearances can field the most well-drawn sex questions called in by faithful viewers. She has a special spot on he site for her Top Ten Toys and has excellent local and national resources for those in need.
When a woman calls in saying that her lover is disturbed by her tendency to laugh during orgasm and a man that says his lovers nipple hair is putting him off, Sue's got the unabashed answer. Her tendency towards unconscious sexual gesticulation amuses me no end as I watch her wade through the plethora of questions that go beyond even 'vacuum suction devices'.
Her section called Condom Quips is priceless:
- If you're gonna get funky, cover your monkey!
- Condoms: the pecker picker upper!
- If you are huffin' and puffin', protect your muffin!
- It only takes a jiffy to cover Mr. Stiffy!
- Before you dip your wick, cover your dick!
- Nothin' says lovin' like rubber in the oven!
- When she's looking slinky, wrap your dinky!
- Gift-wrap your member, especially in December!
- It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter!
- No condemnation for the Condom Nation!
- It is not the length of the wand but the magic that's in it!
- Shroud the moose before you let loose!
- Keep it calm, or it's you and your palm!
- It's not always better, wetter!
5 comments:
Sarah--
You read Dan Savage because you're not having sex?
Jen--
So, how yoooouu doin'?
John R.
Where the hell are you on this one? Too on the nose for you?
OMG...what is this all about!
Well 6 kids later, what's my excuse? I guess lover instead of writer ( or is that fighter?)
Byron, I should have you know I'm well acquainted with Sue's Sex Toys section. I don't expect any odd, leaking, talking packages under my tree this year.
Of course, I didn't last year...
If your sex toys are leaking it is time to replace them
Hearing about people who get to have sex and I'm not just makes me feel depressed or like I'm to uptight to just have it with any old somebody. I like it takes a Jiffy to cover Mr Stiffy
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