Taking the Piss out of the News





Recent complaints of a foul odor inside the R & R Limited public parking garage in Orange County prompted the building's manager to set up a video camera inside an elevator. When the manager and police checked the videotapes, Orange County Sheriff's Deputy Carl Brown was shown urinating in the corner of the elevator.

In a lossley releated story, Since November 2003, Turko and Weger have patrolled the city's South Side, one of the country's oldest Victorian-era shopping districts in the country by day -- but one of the city's best places to drink at night. They bust bladder-heavy revelers looking for relief in alleys, the sides of houses and in dark corners.

"It's a target-rich environment," Weger said.

Turko and Weger have handed out more than 220 citations for public indecency. Emptying your bladder in the wrong place can also empty your wallet. Each ticket comes with a $300 fine.

Pittsburgh police Cmdr. Bill Joyce, whose zone covers the South Side, started the Pub Patrol last year amid complaints by neighborhood residents and business owners tired of people using their bushes, trees and buildings for last-minute latrines.

"How would they feel if someone walked into their neighborhood and began urinating on their own homes?" Joyce said. They've obviously never met my brother.

In a less related story, in Dothan Alabama, a portable bathroom prankster has plagued building sites in Dothan, tipping over about 50 of the unsecured toilets.

The tipper strikes at construction sites in upscale subdivisions around Dothan, leaving portable toilet vendors to clean up the mess. "It's not funny at all," said Kelly Powell, co-owner of Portable Toilet Services in Dothan, which has 400 rental toilets and three people to service them. "It's pretty cut and dried: They turn them over and we have to go clean it up. It's very time-consuming." Dothan Police Capt. John Givens admitted that he chuckled at the first few tippings, until the pranks became a more disgusting problem. "There are additional problems if it lands door-down," Given said. "If it leaks out, there is no ventilation. It gets really nasty in there."

And in an only vaguely related note,

Indonesian bridge may collapse due to excess urination

A bridge in Indonesia is in danger of collapsing because too many people are urinating against it.

Officials in Palembang city have noticed that the Ampera Bridge has developed a distinct lean, which is being blamed on a urine-corroded steel pillar.

Azmi Lakoni, an official at the public works department in Palemberg, told the Jakarta Post: "We are concerned that one of its main support piers has been weakened by urine, as it is a popular spot for locals to relieve themselves."

Vehicles over one tonne are being diverted from the bridge as officials are concerned that the urine damaged pillar could cause the entire bridge to collapse.