All Protein Diet

A vampire in Birmingham. A man 'stalks'* the streets in the Ward End and sinks his teeth into hapless non-stalkers. One' report' has him biting a man and then swiftly turning on the neighbors that came to his aid. A 'woman' claims to have had a chunk taken from her hand. 'Witnesses' claim he is a black man in his twenties with a massive over bite. Sorry. Added that last bit myself. Get it? Oh, never mind.

Oddly, the police have had not 'victims' filling and 'reports'.

"All I've heard is that there's a fellow who is going round attacking people like a dog and biting them," said Josephine McNally, who works at the Old Barley Mow pub in Ward End. "It does put the wind up you."

Why a vampire? Why not the ever popular werewolf or even a flesh-eating zombie? I can't help but think, after all the Anne Rice novels I've read, that a vampire would be more discreet and much more... debonair in the whole affair.

*Stalking by definition implies following someone/something closely and quietly and staying hidden all the while. But the implication, in my fevered brain, is quite comical. I see this figure lurking in alleyways, looking for a plump jugular, carried by a innocent skipping home from the pub. Even innocent hands aren't safe from this marauding Atkin's Dieter gone amok. Someone give the man some jerkie and send him on home.

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