I Got Yer Free Speech Right Here!

I had the strangest dream. You were there and you were there, too.

It started like this:

US politicians are proposing a tough new law on indecency and course language that would provide the benign, whitebread and sleep-inducing entertainment we've all been looking for.

Fines of up to $500,000 (£266,582) could be imposed each time broadcasters transmit nudity or profanities; you know, things we don't hear on the streets or at home. Instigated by the apparently terrifying exposure of Janet Jackson's breast at last year's Superbowl (which cost CBS $550,000 (£293,264), entertainers could also be liable for fines under the proposed legisation from both US politicians and officials from the Federal Communications Commission (FCC).

Sam Brownbeck, a Republican senator from Kansas, wants a maximum $3 million (£1.6 million) fine for repeated violations.

The current maximum fine of $32,500 (£17,320) is a considered a paltry sum and Republican Fred Upton, chair of the committee responsible for broadcasting, said is "more of a cost of doing business rather than a deterrent".

Gosh, I hope the government will protect from all the bad words and boobies in books and magazines, too. Maybe we can have a big bonfire and put all the 'bad' things in there and the country can be magically transformed into Eden. By then, travel outside the U.S. will be banned unless I'm going to blow someone up in the Middle East and I can remain here, part of the Middle Class that has been left no choice in jobs except low-paying service industry or low-paying industrial. Then, when I'm old, I can retire to the nothing left from Social Security and die alone on a street corner when my assisted living home is shut down for lack of funding.

Oh, what a world, what a world!

I woke up and clung to my Paris Hilton book, knowing that this could never really happen in a country so concerned with freedom and liberty.