Modern Drunkard Magazine

That's right. No joke, no typo. Modern Drunkard Magazine is a 50,000-circulation magazine edited by Frank Kelly Rich, an admitted alcoholic who drinks on the job and occasionally blacks out. He touts the cultural benefits of alcohol and terms heavy drinkers an "oppressed minority."

"I think drinking is conducive to a happy family life."

"The most accomplished people have been drinkers."

"Hemingway was a great literary drunk, and I think a lot of teetotalers would trade their lives for his in a second. Alcohol is the great socializer. Can you imagine a world without it? Well, I guess you can -- it's called the Middle East."

The magazine has columns that include:

Dear Concerned Cad:

Dear Concerned Cad:
Just a question that popped into my head at the end of happy hour (and me broke again!). Is it possible to be truly happy without being filthy, stinking rich?
—Poor and Unhappy

Dear Poor:
Well, of course it is. As an astute German nobleman once noted, “No matter how rich you are, you can still only drink 16 or 17 liters of beer a day.”

Bartender in Heat

This month's column: Slurring and Wobbling

This cutting off business is not as easy as it looks.

Gin-Soaked Fiction




Wino Wisdom

“The jukebox is the drunkard’s fireplace.”

Troy B., warming himself to Wheel in the Sky in the Streets of London Pub.

You Know your Drunk When...

You’ve only been drunk once in your life, and so far it’s lasted twenty-three years.

You liver has a restraining order on you.

You can tell the difference between a bottle of Jack and a bottle of Jim by the sound they make hitting the back of your head.

Alcoholism doesn’t run in your family—it takes its own sweet time.

You’ve been cut off during communion.

Comics for Alcoholics