2005-12-20

A Lesson in Idiocy


Tucker Carlson. Bow-tied fool of the conservatives.

He's taken pot shots at Canada, a erudite and culture-filled neigherbor, and displayed an abundance of glittering generalities in the process.

'Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York,'' he said.

''Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada.''

Carlson also said it's pointless to tell Canada to stop criticizing the United States.

''It only eggs them on. Canada is essentially a stalker, stalking the United States, right? Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right?''

''It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States. We, meanwhile, don't even know Canada's name. We pay no attention at all,'' he said.

Proud I am not. Agree I do not.

Amused I am.

7 comments:

JamesO said...

It's difficult to comment on this without falling into the same trap, but has this numpty ever been to Canada?

And surely it's the other way around. Canada is faintly embarrassed by it's overlarge, strong but essentially childlike and mindless neighbour to the south, and so humours him in the hope that it will be left alone.

Incidentally, the word verification is Bilbo, which probably has some deeper meaning somewhere.

Stuart MacBride said...

Well, 'Tucker' there does look a bit like a Hobbit. Or one of those freaky ventriloquists dummies they use to scare children at parties.

And I see Jen is on the Yoda pills again. Must be too much caffeine.

My verification word is 'detlqptp' - the Aztec god of nasal hair.

Jim Winter said...

Poor Tucker. He wants to be Bill O'Reilly, yet he doesn't realize that Bill O'Reilly isn't funny, either.

They're like the retarded cousin at Thanksgiving. Your relatives from Canada pat them on the head, but don't take them seriously.

Anonymous said...

Canada can't be to retarded and are obviously having more fun than us. Their Supreme Court just ruled that sex club for swingers are not illegal,prostitution or a threat to society. Way to go Canada

Jennifer Jordan said...

I say to Tucker that America is the drunken uncle at Thanksgiving who lumbers around hitting on all the women and starting fights with all the men.

At the end of the night, he's passed out in his underwear on the recliner, Bon Jovi playing full bore on the stereo.

My word verification s ljlmg, a Nordi beer that gives the drunken uncle the farts the day after Thanksgiving.

Sean Chercover said...

Wait...you mean, there's a country called "Canada"?? You're kidding, right?

Sandra Ruttan said...

I think he's got a secret Canada fixation. He wishes he could be like us, wishes we'd let him move up here, but since he can't get in because we have a no jackass policy, he pretends he doesn't care.

Damn, wonder if they can use the no jackass policy to give our prime minister the boot. Now there's a thought.

And yes anonymous, come visit our swinger's clubs anytime! "Doing Canada" with a twist. And you'll likely get something to remember some of us by and see your doctor about when you get home. Good thing we have that allegedly free health care up here.

My verification is "kkwaag". Sounds like a whiny drunk asking for the keg.