Yes!
Jen not make up!
It true!
Coffee and tea maybe could reduce risk of serious liver damage in people who drink lots alcohol, be overweight or sporting too lots iron in blood, researchers said in big hurry. So fast say the researchers these things reporters confused but happy Mom gave voice recorder thingys for birthday.
Nearly 10,000 people that drinking two more cups coffee or tea per day developed chronic liver disease at half the rate of those who drank less than one cup each day but still were sick people!
Here, let liver thing show:
Wow!
Me need more caffieeeeene soon. Old stuff just wear right off!
Heart pump fast but brain say too bad, must think faster, must think faster, must think faster! Now!
Ooooo, thinking fast and repairing liver at same time! Multitasking!
16 comments:
me brain be full of snot. Forced to drink bad coffee, no able to get good coffee from down street. bad coffee make acid, cut through snot, make eyes bug out, think only small thoughts. Big thought take to much effort. No coffee strong enough to cut through bad cold
But much coffee make bile run through liver like knife through soft, buttery things! And mutlitasking all the way!
Lay down to nap and find limbs active!
Close eyes to sleep and find snap open!
Make brain to quiet and much thought does think!
no no, bad coffee with snot now in tummy make puke. no multitasking, only sick feeling. coffee and cold make evil feeling. head is spinning tummy is turning bad bad bad.
puke brought to you by our friendly friend, caffiend! Shoot stuff through liver and make body say, "This I need no more!" To then make things not needed by elsewhere than body!
See?
See?
Me see only spinning room
You, person of puke, need to slow down, put hands on desk, close eyes and enjoy effects of dark, bitter nectar of gods!
Then puke!
Then drink again!
Then see what joy caffiene hath wrought in body made slow by sick.
me no drink puke after puke come up. you give bad advice
My dear puker, no suggestion such was made!
Puke, coffee, puke, coffee and purge then has bring forth a new era of wellness!
Jen sound like cafinated yoda yes? Hrrmmmm..
bad coffee taste like puke to start with. puke taste like bad coffee. puke taste be everywhere. what do ditch puke taste?
Me think Jen more like Cookie Monster than like Yoda
Puker - when caffiene sources fail, as rarely they do, wine is more to be good. Darker better.
Oldmankiller - Yoda got no wise on me!
Cookie Monster neurotic poser to my power of words!
Y'all are starting to scare the shit out of me.
What's truly terrifying is that that is the mindset I had for a better portion of the day.
Until I passed out at three in the afternoon with every nerve in my body groaning with relief at my lack of movement.
My plan for immortality proceeds on schedule.
In the news next year: Spending Four Hours A Day Playing Computer Games May Prevent Cancer.
But excess beer would make for an even freakier post.
Hhhhmmmmmmm.........
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